well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do vagina's smell?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
