Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
