I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
