so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
