Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
