Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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