The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize