I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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