I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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