are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
