PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just forgot I was standing up.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
