David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize