Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
