Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
