all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize