Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize