Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
