i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize