my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
