But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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