they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
