i don't like sucking hair
im holly from the hills drunk
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
