But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
