wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
