You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
