I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
