Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
