K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My cat gives me a boner
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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