We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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