I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
