I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
