what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
