i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
