Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize