Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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