Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
