We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Can I color on your dick again?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
