You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
