New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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