saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize