I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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