I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
