I hate your face
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
