Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
