Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
