Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
