I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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