Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize