wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
