I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
