So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize