Whod you bang
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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