Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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