I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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