so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize