Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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