Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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