OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think people are normalizing furries
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
