There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
